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What’s up with the so called “Family” Projects that the Kindergarten teachers keep sending home? First we were sent home a blank “person” to decorate to look like our child. Supposedly, we are meant to do this together as a family.

Let’s read between the lines, shall we. These projects are homework for the parents. Do you really expect a five year old to cut out a person, glue yarn and felt in a perfect fashion to somewhat resemble their own self? Of course not. The parents are expected to do it.
Well, at least they are pressured to do it themselves. The teachers hang these projects in the hallway and I’ve seen how extravagant they are. No kid can be expected to compete with the artistic flair of the other perfect parents. It’s like I’m in high school again, the peer pressure is on for me to provide my child with the perfect art project for her to show off to her class. I can’t let her bring in an off-center glue job that looks like an actual five year old did it can I?

Our current “family” project has me gluing straw to a scarecrow. I see the art projects she ACTUALLY does HERSELF at school. No way could she do this without the scarecrow resembling a homeless person. So I’m off to do it myself, so my five year old daughter will save face among the other Armani-clad scarecrows.